Hope.

My therapist and I talked yesterday about hope.....and about my lack of it.....how I make choices based on a lack of hope in something better....bigger....or even just different. Gut wrenching session is a good way to describe that one.

But that's not the point of this blog.

I got up this morning after a more than frustrating evening, waiting for a ride to pick me up to bring me to work because my car is currently on blocks (got to love places that only care DOMESTIC PARTS).

That on top of a host of other things have left me in a state where I don't feel like there is much hope.

At least not for me.

And then I wake up, go outside and wait for my ride to arrive, and am greeted by a new blossom on plants that were dead, done, and finished blooming for the year.

A reminder, perhaps, from my Father that there is still hope, even when everything around me seems dead and unfruitful.

There is always hope.

Things that fascinate me

1) This kid

2) How some days I think I can't keep going....but I do.

3) How coffee pots make cold water hot immediately. MAGIC! (Ok, engineering, but I prefer the coffe-fairy theory.

4) That from the most unlikely of sources, I can be reminded of the greatness of God and how He reveals himself in creation.

Fairy dust

If someone could sprinkle fairy dust on me so I could fly away....

reassurance

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Spinning

I'm spinning.

In multiple directions,
Through different emotions.
From up to down and back again

Longing for center
and desperate for relief

Madness swirls around me
and hope seems to fade

I'm spinning, but I'm clinging.

And won't let go.

I'm sharing when I'm happy....

And sharing when I'm sad....just not blogging. I do think that when I am down I do spend more time thinking about why I am, what strongholds are in my life causing the down, what things I haven't given up as I should.....

And because I believe the story of God to be a story of longing, redemption and reconciliation, I share my own continual journey in that process.

This mystery poster definitely has me interested, and sparks me to think about why I don't share the happy.

So if you want to learn more about me, my life...here is another sharing spot.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lynellshooks/

Enjoy. Lurk. Post. Create mystery.

anonymous

Whoever is posting such wonderful things, or just poking around, please identify yourself...you who worked on the hill with me....or didn't know me as well as you thought....I'm interested to know who you are!

Thank you!

here.

Insight (again...a repeat)

This morning on my way to work I passed “Virginia’s Party Store.” As I passed Virginia’s, I thought of another Virginia in my life. Snack Shop Virginia.

She was one of the capitol area snack shop operators, and she was a treasure in my life. Every day that I visited her, which was almost every day, she would greet me with a smile, tell me how happy she was I had come in, and almost instinctively knew how I was feeling that day and could sense my mood, all by my greeting to her.

Virginia was blind. She never saw my face, she had no idea if I was smiling or crying, but somehow she seemed to sense my spirit.

As I thought about Virginia, the words of Psalm 139 came to mind. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” I began to pray about the word “being,” and felt God pulling me towards exploring what that verse meant for me today.

The progression of the verse goes from creating my being to God knitting me together. Being progresses into human being. Soul before the body. Sense before sight.

I’ve spent the whole day pondering that thought, of my spiritual being preceding my physical being, and the work of God in not just creating my physical body, but my very soul. And not only in creating, but maintaining, growing, pursuing, stretching, teaching….

So much more so that Virginia ever could, God sees and responds to my soul, not just my physical body (actions, words, deeds). It is also the heart, the spirit and the soul He is after.

Is this what it means to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and your might”? To concentrate all aspects of who I am on Him? To allow Him to work out His will in my body, soul, and will?

I love the thought of God creating and knowing my inmost being. I love His insight, and how He keeps me continually in sight.

another old one...

Character.

I have a habit of reading books not just once or twice, but often time after time, year after year. I will even finish a book, and start right back at page one just to learn more.

I love analyzing the character development in a story more than I do the plot, trying to figure out how this “person” became who they are, what influences led to certain actions, the battle between nature and nurture in their experiences, and how their personal character is reflected throughout a story.

I am fascinated by how an author has a
vision for a character and the manner in which they not only create the personalities in a story, but their entire life; their hopes, dreams, struggles, failures, and accomplishments.

In the same way I am fascinated by the fact that God has already written each of our stories, has woven an exciting plot for us, cares about the intimate details of our lives, and like an author, has created an entire story around us for all to see.

He created me. He even made me with this ridiculous way of looking at myself, my quirky sense of humor, my “like the guys” attitude, and my great love for nature, children, and the color pink.

Everything about my story is exactly what He wanted it to be.

Psalm 139 verses 15 and 16 read: “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Maybe someday someone else will read my story, and be fascinated with the character God has developed in me, and will be drawn to learn about the Creator from his Creation.

As you go about your week, may you know that God, the author of your life, has written a beautiful story with you as the main character, and has set down his pen with a big smile on His face knowing you are exactly what He wanted to write about.

Recovering old writings....

This is another in a string of things I wrote for the Mars Hill Runners Group......

Each week as I prepare to put together the newsletter, I pray for God to inspire me as to what I should write about. For days ahead of time, I’ll keep my eyes, ears and heart open to the things around me, because often it is revealed in an inanimate object, a conversation, a song, and sometimes a single word.

Today I started writing on “management” and “leadership” but neither of those words moved me the right way. I looked around my office, and simply asked “please inspire me today.” And there it was, in the request. Inspiration.

To me, being inspired means to be in the Spirit, and to be in tune with the ways God speaks to my heart. Many times I’ve been asked “where do you come up with those topics?” or “how do you see things like that?”

It’s how the Spirit speaks to me, plain and simple. I strive to constantly be aware, and open to how He moves me to experience God in the simple things of life. I desire to be open to not only his direction, but to His way of seeing things.

How beautiful is it that the root of the word inspire is “to breathe in to,” relating to a divine or supernatural breathing a thought or idea in to someone. Inspiration leads us to build, to create. Inspiration calls us to go, and to serve. Inspiration encourages us to push forward or back off.

In my experiences, inspiration is a picture of God whispering in my ear, gently nudging me in His direction, or turning my head at the right time, tuning my ear – all the things He does to reveal Himself to me.

Each one of us is created by an Inspired God, who inspires us in many and unique ways. I pray that each of you opens your eyes and tunes your ear to the inspiration of the Spirit, for it is all around you.

Lord please inspire me, so that I may more admire Thee.

Have a blessed week, full of inspiration.

Reality.

Reality.

One of the greatest obstacles I face on a daily basis is coming to grips with my own limitations in life. Frankly, there is no way I can do it all. There is no problem that I can solve on my own, no mountain that I can climb by myself, and no wall I can tear down with my bare hands.

My own limitations, physical and otherwise, can prevent me from doing so many different things in life. That is my reality.

But there is another reality.

I recently heard someone explain why he took on a pretty serious mission this way: “My response is to the size of the need, not my means to address it.”

Those may not have been his exact words, but they spoke to me in such a way that it put in to perspective many challenges I face in my own life.

I decided that if I focused on the greatness of the problems I face, I know that with my own limitations and skills I will never be able to deal with them. I am choosing instead to focus on the limitless skills and resources of the Creator of the Universe to address things in my life, and simply asked to be a part of His work in my life, my community and throughout the world.

Have you ever looked at a problem and said, “I can’t do that.” Seen a need go unmet because you didn’t believe it could be met? Not taken on a new venture because the risk seemed too great, despite knowing the risk needed to be taken?

I mentioned that the reality is that my own limitations may prevent me from doing so many things. But the OTHER reality is that my God is bigger than my limitations, my skills, and my abilities.

I wonder how often we shy away from a challenge in life because we’ve put the challenge in perspective of what we can do to meet it, rather than our God’s ability to use us to engage in His work.

God spoke and the universe came in to existence. He still speaks, and that is our reality.